Bittersweet
by Magdelope
Summary: Inquisition is a troubling time for Leliana, she seeks comfort where she finds it. I will be writing this story as I progress in Inquisition, and write in AN etc where I am in terms of game progress in case you want to read but want to be careful with spoilers. Femslash. Leliana/OC. Very smutty and angsty and hopefully in the future a little bit fluffy.
1. Three weeks before the Conclave

_I will be writing this story as I progress in Inquisition, and write in AN etc where I am in terms of game progress in case you want to read but want to be careful with spoilers. Since this is from the pov from an OC who is not in direct contact with the trouble in Thedas, I'm not sure how much spoilers there will be. But there will be some, in terms of how Leliana is acting, or perhaps things she goes through. Otherwise enjoy!_

* * *

**Three weeks before the Conclave **

"Giselle." She looked up at the mentioning of the name she had chosen for the night.

"Yes?"

"Clients for you."

Ali's eyes squinted as she tried to figure out if her fellow worker was joking or serious. Her preference for women was well-known in the whore house but that didn't mean that women had entered. Sometimes it meant effeminate men. Sometimes the burliest and scariest men. She was a joke. But she was a joke that was also living and breathing and human and she needed to eat. And buy clothes. And have a roof over her head.

She looked behind the other girl and to her surprise it was actually two women sitting by one of the tables. One of them were looking incredibly uncomfortable, her impressive muscles clear under her armor making Ali question why she was uncomfortable. The other was looking unimpressed with the fact that they were inside a whorehouse. Perhaps they were a couple, Ali mused, and they wanted a shared adventure. Maybe she could be that adventure, they looked like they could pay handsomely for whatever it was that they wanted.

"They brought weapons," her fellow nightworker said, "like actual weapons. I think they might be dignitaries of some sort."

"I'll go and talk with them," Ali said and willed her legs to walk forward. She didn't know why she was feeling so nervous all of a sudden. When doing what she did, female clients was a treat.

She approached the table slowly, letting her hips sway with each step. She zoned in on the uncomfortable woman and leaned forward mainly to have the woman's head in height with her bosom and her hair close enough to be smelled. She was still careful to not stand with her back to the other woman.

"Looking for a good time?" She asked in her regular voice. With some men she would force innocence into her voice, but not for all, and never for women. She also took the opportunity to inspect the women a bit closer. The one in front of her was muscled but lean with dark short hair and Nevarran looking eyes and nose, the one to her side was harder to place, maybe Ferelden, with red hair that was mostly covered up by a hood.

"No," the dark haired woman said shortly and then looked at the other woman, "Leliana!"

Leliana gave an unreadable look and then turned to Ali.

"We're just here to look at the girls and enjoy the occasional singing."

"There is a tavern in town," Ali said without thinking, "I'm sure the music…"

"We have our reasons for choosing this place," Leliana interuppted her, "you can go now."

Ali bowed her head shortly and then turned around. A quick look from her boss that was standing in the corner, showed her that she needed to do something. No, she did not need to be reminded of the fact that she hadn't had a happy customer for a couple of weeks. She sighed and went to pick up her lute. "Her" clients wanted music, she would give them music. As she passed the strange women's table again, she couldn't help but overhear that woman Leliana whisper urgently to the other one.

"Nobody will come looking for us here, it's the perfect hiding spot for the night."

Ali didn't make a face as she walked by, but Leliana looked up and their eyes met for a second. Ali couldn't be sure, but for some reason she felt like Leliana knew that she had heard. She quickly averted her eyes and hurried to the other end of the table where she placed herself and started playing the first song that came to mind. With Leliana staring at her, Ali struck up a tune on her lute and sang Nightingale's eyes.


	2. A week before the Conclave

**A week before the Conclave**

The strange women were back, sitting at the same table. But they looked more tired than ever. Ali was starting to suspect that they had something to do with the conclave. Even people like her had heard of it considering how close they were to where it was supposed to take place. This time however, the dark haired woman left all of a sudden, leaving the woman called Leliana on her own by the table. She didn't look uncomfortable being alone though, she looked slightly bored, looking at one of Ali's co workers singing _By the sea _slightly too slow and very off key. Ali was almost embarrassed to hear the wretched singing and she approached the table, ignoring how a young man whistled low as she walked passed.

"We're glad to welcome you here again," she said, flashing Leliana a sweet smile.

"Are you?" Was the monotone answer, Leliana keeping her eyes fixed on the source of the horrid singing and not even looking at her.

"Umm..." Ali didn't know what to answer. Leliana was still not looking at her, and Ali didn't know if she even recognized her from last time.

"I suppose not," she said eventually. Because even though she was curious about why the women had been there the first time and then returned but didn't seem inclined to use the services so eagerly offered, Ali couldn't say that she was _glad _to see her again.

Leliana looked at her now, properly for the first time. Her eyes were icy blue, cold in a way that made Ali's heart ache for her. Leliana's face looked like it was made for smiling, while simultanously looking like it hadn't smiled genuinily in months.

"Oh," Ali said again when she noticed that she had been staring, "I'm sorry for the music." _And for staring, _she added in her head.

"Yes," Leliana said, "it is quite bad." She threw another look at the singing girl and snorted.

"I suppose you have a room?" At first Ali wasn't sure that Leliana had been talking to her, which was ridiculous since there was no one else there within earshot.

"Yes," she said, "upstairs."

"And that's your boss over there I take it," Leliana pointed at the stern woman in the corner, "she does not look happy."

"That's an understatement," Ali said without thinking, "I'm not her favourite girl at the moment, wait, I mean…"

Leliana sighed, then she got up and handed her hand to Ali.

"Let's go to your room then."

"Wait, what?" Ali said, "now? You want…"

"Are you new?" Leliana said, "or am I in the wrong establishment?"

"No," Ali said in panic, "of course you're not. Please, come this way." She gave a quick nod to her boss, recieving only a frown in reply and then led Leliana up the stairs and into her room. She glanced at herself quickly in the mirror, it had been so long since she had had a proper client she had almost stopped preparing herself come nighttime. She just hoped that Leliana found her pretty, nothing else mattered.

They went into the room, Ali first, almost tripping over a candle she was so flustered, Leliana came second on easy steps. If she was uncomfortable she didn't show it. She just went in and threw a coin purse at the table.

Ali looked at it for a moment, then she started going through the motions of untying her boddice.

"There is no need for that," Leliana said, "leave your clothes on."

"But…" Ali said and motioned towards the coin.

"See it as payment to sleep in your bed," Leliana said and shrugged, "I've had a long day and I'm going to have an even longer tomorrow."

"There are…"

"Yes," Leliana said, "I know there are other places more suitable for the this, in the village. But I'm not there, I'm here. Should I leave? There is a lot of gold in that purse, enough for the whole night." Ali fought the tempation to leap over the table and count them, she was a practical woman after all.

"Okay," Ali said, "the bed is yours." She didn't know what else to say, she tied up her boddice again and went to light a fire in the fireplace on the side of the room. If there was no sex to be had, the room would grow quite cold quickly. She knew that the other girls would question her lighting a fire later but she didn't care. Leliana deserved a fire after paying so much just to use her room.

Leliana went to lay down on the bed, but she didn't close her eyes, she was just staring at the ceiling. Ali could see the candle light dance in her open eyes.

"Do you want to talk?" Ali said.

"Why?" Leliana said, "why would you ask such a thing?"

"It feels wrong to take money for doing nothing," Ali said, but it wasn't the whole truth, "and I'm curious."

"I am not about to blabber my secrets to a whore," Leliana said, but there was no contempt in her voice, it was a calm statement.

"So don't blabber your secrets," Ali said, "tell me something mundane."

"I like nugs," Leliana said, "and I dislike bad singning."

"Me too," Ali said, "the singing part at least. Nugs are just pests to me, and sometimes food." Silence fell between them again but Leliana didn't close her eyes for a long time. Eventually Ali had to talk again.

"I could sing for you,"she said, "if you'd like… I mean, unless my singing is one of those bad examples that you don't like."

Leliana chuckled but it was a sad sound.

"If you'd like," she said, "to warn you though, I'm about to fall asleep."

"I'll sing you something to make you fall asleep," Ali said.

"Sounds good," Leliana replied, but there was no happiness in her voice, only sleep. Ali liked that she had something to do and started singing. Leliana eventually fell asleep but that didn't stop Ali, she continued to sing all night.


	3. The night before the Conclave

**The night before the Conclave**

"Esmeralda. Esmeralda!" Ali looked up, she had chosen the wrong name this day. It wasn't one that was easy to remember. Most whorehouses didn't change the name of their whores so often, but the boss lady liked it. Said it gave them a different edge, it also gave them the impression of having many more girls than they had. Ali found it silly and lacking of purpose, but it wasn't her place to complain. There were also things that she liked with it, no client had called her a name that she had felt connected to for any longer period.

"Yes," she said, "what is it?"

"A woman is back there and she looks to be looking for you."

Ali went into the main room of the establishment, and by the door was Leliana, this time with a bow strapped to her back and a small knife attached to one of her thighs.

"Sera?" Ali said as she approached her, not sure if she was allowed to use her name.

"I'm in the need of your services," Leliana said without a greeting, "same room as last time?" She ignored the man by the door who wanted to take her weapons.

"Yes, of course," Ali said, "this way." She led back Leliana to her room and lit the fire like last time.

When she turned around Leliana had thrown a coin purse on the table like last time, but there was an air of uncertainty around her that hadn't been there last time. Instead of lying down on the bed, she started pacing back and forward in the room.

"Are you okay, sera?" Ali asked.

"No," Leliana answered but gave no other explanation.

"Want me to sing?"

"No."

"Want to lie down?"

"No."

Ali frowned, she wanted to help. To soothe. To see the strange woman at least hint on a smile. Eventually she went the only route she was familiar with. She went forward and stood in Leliana's way, forcing her to stop pacing. When she saw that Leliana had her eyes fixed on her, Ali leaned forward and upwards and put her mouth near her ear.

"Want me to make you feel good?" Leliana shivered visually and Ali felt a small triumph at that. Leliana was clearly an important person and for her to be affected by Ali's presence, be it scent or looks, felt very good. She felt Leliana's mouth open, and then close again.

"No," she said eventually, "I think I'll just sleep." She stepped away from Ali and went to lie on the bed. This time she closed her eyes right away but Ali had a feeling she wasn't sleeping. Ali herself went to sit in the corner on the floor and again started singing.


	4. The day of the Conclave

**The day of the Conclave**

Ali woke up by Leliana fixing her boots and putting her bow back in place.

"Good luck today," she said.

"What do you mean?" Leliana said without looking up, she hardly ever seemed to look at Ali. But in the same time, Ali felt incredibly watched when in Leliana's presence.

"The Conclave," Ali carefully suggested, but quickly wished she hadn't. Before she had a chance to react, Leliana had sprung from the bed and pressed her up against the wall.

"Why do you say that?" She said, "who have you talked to?" Her voice was still calm and it seemed like a regular conversation if it hadn't been for Ali being pressed against the wall. Leliana was much stronger than she had seemed, Ali squirmed and tried to get loose but Leliana just held on tighter.

"No one," Ali cried, "please!"

Leliana's grip on her arms were bruising but being close to a beautiful and powerful woman was starting to have a completely different effect as well. A dangerous blue fire was swirling in Leliana's eyes and while it scared Ali, it also thrilled her. Ali couldn't help but suddenly notice how close Leliana was, and how wonderful she was smelling, like flowers with an underlying smell of leather, wood and fire. Then Leliana tightened the grip on her arms and Ali snapped back in reality.

"You're hurting me," she tried, "please! Let me go!" Leliana lightened the grip but stared at Ali's face with such an investigative impression. It made Ali squirm more, it felt like she was a storybook that Leliana was reading. Ali wanted to lower her gaze but found herself unwilling to do so. Eventually Leliana looked away instead and then let go.

"Fine," she said and took a step backwards, "I believe you. Why did you ask about the Conclave?"

"I was guessing," Ali replied while she put her arms around herself, "I'm sorry. I won't ask again."

"Good," Leliana said. She looked tired and thinner than she had been just a couple of weeks ago. Ali almost wished that she had some food to offer her but this wasn't a bed and breakfast.

"Why don't you stay for a bit?"

Leliana lifted an eyebrow in her direction and Ali pressed on.

"The sun hasn't gone up," she said, "and you must be hungry. Maybe I could find something for you to eat."

Leliana seemed to think about it for a moment, then she took her bow from her back and sat down on the bed again.

"Okay," she said, "some food would be welcome."

Ali didn't dare to reply, afraid to scare the woman away again, instead she just left the room.

It was close to dawn now, so there were no girls downstairs, no music, no rowdy customers. No boss looking from the corner. Ali loved the silence and hoped that the kitchesn were empty too. It wasn't custom to give food to the clients but Ali felt that this was worth making an exemption for.

Luckily the kitchens were empty and Ali quickly grabbed a basket that stood by the door and filled it with the freshest piece of bread she could find and the only sliver of cheese that didn't have visible mold on it. The bucket of water was dry, but she did find a small bottle of wine that she grabbed.

She thought herself finished but as she passed by the boss' cabinet she couldn't escape to notice the bowl of beautiful red apples that were proudly on display through the glass. The boss' cabinet was strictly off limits, but Ali didn't pause for a second, she just opened it and grabbed one of the apples and put it in the basket. Then, after a moment of quick thinking, she took one for herself too. There were only three apples left now and Ali shuddered at what would happen once it was discovered. But done was done and Ali headed upstairs, her loot safely in the basket.

…

"Wine?" Leliana asked when Ali placed the bottle on the table.

"Sorry," Ali said, "there was no water."

"You're always apologizing," Leliana said while inspecting the contents on the basket that Ali had placed on the bed in between them. Ali didn't know what to reply to that.

"Forget it," Leliana said matter-of-factly, "I've been there. Just know that nobody really cares whether you're sorry or not." Leliana grabbed the bread and started eating.

Ali watched her eat in silence and then grabbed one of the apples. She bit into it and couldn't help but moan at the sweet taste, thoughoughly enjoying it. She opened her eyes to Leliana staring at her with a curious and amused face.

"Sor- it tastes nice," Ali said and wiped her shin with her sleeve as gracefully as she could. "I don't get fruit very often."

Leliana's answer was to grab the other apple and bite into it, she chewed the piece, swallowed it and then nodded.

"Apples aren't normally my favourite, but I have to admit that these are wonderful," she said. Ali nodded mindlessly, distracted by the sudden desire that rushed through her at the sight of Leliana's bottom lip glistening with the juices from the apple. Desire wasn't someting she was used to, and she forced her gaze to move, terrified that Leliana might notice.

"Did you steal them?" Leliana asked, waking Ali up from her thoughts.

"The apples?" Ali said, "well, they belong to my employer. We're not allowed to touch anything that belongs to her."

Leliana's eyes glimmed with something that looked like approval. Then she finished the apple and stoof up, clearly preparing to leave. Outside the sun was creating a blue light on the horizon, rising and signalling that a new day was coming. Ali stood up and walked to the door, ready to open it for Leliana.

"Do you often tend to female customers?" Leliana asked all of a sudden, while walking towards Ali and stopping in front of her. She managed to somehow look down at her even though they were practically the same height.

"Yes," Ali said, her throat suddenly dry.

"Do you prefer female customers?" Leliana asked, then without properly waiting for a reply she moved in closer. She moved slowly, yet firmly, giving Ali a chance to move away yet showing her intentions.

Ali had no wish to move but rather just held her breath as Leliana's lips touched hers. It was a chaste kiss, and over very quickly. Before Ali could properly register what had happened, Leliana had pulled back and left.


	5. Three days after the Conclave

_Still no spoilers. But smut ahead. ;)_

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**Three days after the disaster at the Conclave**

The bruises from Ali's beating for stealing the apples were finally starting to fade when Leliana returned to the whore house. There had been a surge of customers, coming and going, dying to feel alive for just a little bit longer. Or perhaps celebrating that they were still alive. But never had Ali expected to see Leliana. Then one day she was suddenly there, bow on her back and an agitated look in her eyes. When she noticed Ali, she didn't greet her in any shape or form, instead she just stepped into the house, again ignoring that she was supposed to leave her weapons by the door.

"Same room?" She asked and without waiting for an answer, walked passed Ali and headed up the stairs. Ali had no choice but to follow her.

Inside the room, Leliana threw two coin purses on the table as Ali closed and locked the door behind them. Then she just stood and stared as Leliana started taking her clothes off. As grim as the woman had always looked, her eyes looked dead and her skin lacked the previous shine it had before. She looked like she hadn't slept for days.

"Do you mind?" Leliana said and pulled her armor off, then her undershirt. Suddenly she was standing in the middle of the room dressed in nothing but her trousers, the fire from the fireplace casting a warm glow and making her skin light up. Ali could do nothing but stare. Leliana was clearly feminine with gentle curves but aslo lean and strong looking with a set of fainted scars painting a curious pattern on her skin. Ali felt her mouth watering at the sight of Leliana's pink tipped breasts.

"Do you?"

Ali barely registered that Leliana had asked her a question but eventually she managed to tore her eyes away from her bosom to her eyes. Ali knew what she was being asked, and she knew what the extra money was for. And she didn't mind, _maker, _she didn't mind.

"No," she croaked out, her mouth suddenly dry, feeling like a virgin rather than a prostitute, "I don't mind."

"Good," Leliana said, "I want to forget." Then she closed the distance between them and suddenly Ali found herself pulled against Leliana's body and then being thoroughly kissed. While they were kissing, Leliana's hands went in between them to pull Ali's dress off, wanting her naked. Ali wanted to go slower, she wanted it to last, she wanted to feel like this was more than just a transaction of funds and services. She wanted to taste every inch of Leliana, lick every scar, explore every crevice.

Leliana however, seemed to be in a hurry, as soon as Ali's dress was off, Leliana pulled it off of her hips, and left it on the floor as they went closer to the bed. Then she moved to work on her trousers, pushing Ali's hands helping hands away.

"Blasted, can't wait," Leliana muttered against Ali's lips and grabbed Ali's hand and pushed it into the opening of her trousers.

"Oh maker," Ali gasped at the first feel of Leliana. Ali looked down and groaned at the red curls she could hint there, then her head was roughly pulled upwards by a tug of her hair and Leliana kissed again.

"Oh please, please, please," Leliana groaned as Ali searched around with her fingers, stroking her as gently as she could. They fell back on the bed together, Ali landing on top of Leliana. The forceful movement made Ali's finger slip into Leliana. The reaction was immidiate, Leliana gasped and arched her back a bit which urged Ali on. The angle of her hand was awkward but Ali did her best to thrust into Leliana, using her hand and hip and Leliana encouraged her by groaning and rocking her hips greedily.

Ali searched for her face but Leliana's eyes were closed and turned slightly away from her, her mouth was open though and Ali couldn't help it but lean in to kiss it again. Leliana's eyes didn't open but she reciprocated and placed one of her legs around Ali's waist.

It was Ali's time to groan and close her eyes, even though Leliana was barely touching her, Ali's insides were filled with fire and she felt more alive than she had in years. Leliana's other leg came up and rested on Ali's hip and as uncomfortable this was in reality, Ali didn't notice as she thrust even harder and started to sweat from the pure exertion. She never wanted to do anything else than just this, moving inside a woman who was as mysterious as she was sad and feeling like she could help.

Just when Ali's hand was starting to ache and she didn't know how much longer she could go on, Leliana made a whimpering sound and threw her head back. In the same time, Ali could feel the start of trembling muscles around her fingers and she moved her thumb to the tender nub above Leliana's entrance. Ali had expected it to be explosive but instead of explosions, Leliana seemed to melt underneath her, sighing deeply and closing her eyes again. She trembled underneath Ali, who thrusted gently to help her through the pulses. Then she stopped and gently rolled off, removing her fingers and resisting the urge to lick them, wiping them on the sheet instead.

Leliana was lying on her side, gasping. One hand came up to wipe away something on her face, but Ali was too polite to check if it had been tears.

When Leliana still hadn't moved for a while, Ali went up and grabbed a blanket to put around both of them. It should have been difficult to fall asleep as Ali was wet and throbbing and untouched, but it was surprisingly easy. It was as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders and Ali fell in a dreamless sleep which was as simply as it was peaceful.

…

When Ali woke up, Leliana had left but on the table a third coin purse was waiting for her.


	6. A week after the Conclave

_Maybe a spoiler about the setting in the beginning of Inquisition. If you have started the game and know the setting then no spoilers._

* * *

**A week after the Conclave**

Ali wasn't truly one of the lacking or the hungry, not with a roof over her head and occasionally food in her stomach. Sometimes she considered herself lacking senses and hungry for a proper living. But as the demons kept coming and the mage-templar war drew closer, the whore house closed and Ali was forced to leave Redcliffe.

And that was when Cullen found her, half frozen in a ditch, still wearing the green dress she had stolen from a shop and her lips blue. Cullen looked at her from the top of his horse, not sure what to do. There was an empty bottle of whisky next to her, Cullen guessed that she had drank it to keep warm. She was probably dead, he thought regretfully, but as he was about to turn his horse around and head back to Haven when the girl twitched, opened her eyes and looked up at him with red-shot eyes.

"Help," she whispered but made no movement towards him, maybe she couldn't. Cullen imidiately jumped off his horse and pulled his coat off and pulled her into his arms, putting the coat around her in the process.

"Thank you," she whispered and then closed her eyes, seemingly falling asleep. Cullen didn't have much choice but to take her back to Haven, so with much difficulty he got himself up on the horse while cradling the girl, luckily she weighed almost next to nothing. With both of them settled on the horse, Cullen feeling slightly cold without his coat, he turned around the horse and set off towards Haven.

When he could see the tall building of the Haven Chantry getting closer, the girl stirred again and sat up straighter, looking forward.

"Where are we?" She asked, her voice a bit croaky.

"This is Haven," he said, "home of the newly formed Inquisition."

"Haven," she repeated, as if tasting the word, "I've never been here."

"There are refugees here," he said, "I'm sure there is enough room and food for one more. I don't know what standards you're used to but I'm sure you'll get used to it quick enough."

Instead of answering, the girl turned her face towards the rift in the sky, if she found it scary her face didn't show it.

"Thedas is in trouble," Cullen said in a low voice, "I'm sure you've heard of it."

"Yes," she said, "I just didn't know how much was truth and how much was fiction."

They entered Haven and a soldier came to collect the horse while Cullen thought of what to do with the girl. She was a pretty thing he could see when not distracted by thinking she was dying. Her hair, even though messy, was thick and black with a white streak running through it and inquisitive purple eyes were taking the scenery in as if gazing a battlefield. Maybe she could work in the Tavern he thought, serve drinks, help with other tasks, sing, run errands. There were always many things to be done. And now she was able to stand up on her own, even though her lips were still slightly blue.

"Come with me," he said, "I'll show you to the quartermaster. They can direct you to shelter." As much as he would have liked to just send her on her way, he had a nagging feeling that she would wind up in the wrong place if he didn't show her the ropes.

She nodded but didn't look at him, instead she was looking at the men fighting, at the smithery, at the large wooded door leading into Haven, at the rift in the sky, at Cassandra who wasn't far away. Her eyes seem to never be in one place for very long, again the girl reminded Cullen of a soldier inspecting a battle field, wondering where to strike next.

"What is your name?" He said in an authoritative voice.

"Sunniva," she said but didn't look at him, "what is with all training?" She pointed at the soldiers.

"This is home to the very newly formed Inquisition," he replied. He started walking and motioned her to follow which she did, her eyes still focused on the training. When they passed through the gates and there were other things to look at, her eyes widened.

"Are the people here only from Haven?" She asked.

"Most are," Cullen replied, "not all. Sunniva, I really need to ask you how you winded up lying in a ditch just south of here if you don't belong in Haven. Were you trying to get to Haven?"

"No, ser," the girl said, "it was my beau for the evening. He wanted to show me the pretty green lights over the mountain. Not sure what happened, maybe the demons scared him and the horse away."

"Are you joking?" Cullen asked, unsure if any one could be that stupid, "if that is the case you are happy to be alive!"

She looked at him then and she looked serious.

"I know," she said, "I am lucky you came by when you did."

He looked at her suspiciously, not sure if she was serious or not. He opened his mouth to say something else but then a ring up on the chantry tower let him know that the war council was meeting again.

"I need to go," he said, "just go up this hill, you'll find the quartermaster by a tent on the right side."

"I'll find it," she said and nodded him good bye as he left.

…

Ali felt much better when she was alone again, relaxed, less tense. She saw a Tavern across the landing and decided to go there next but she better visit the quartermaster first. She went up the hill, located the angry looking woman arguing with a couple of people. The girl waited patiently until the other people left and then she approached.

"Who are you?" The quartermaster said.

"I'm new, I need shelter," she said in a high pitched breathy voice, sounding terrified, "I'm a refugee."

The quartermaster nodded.

"Name?"

Ali thought about it for a moment wondering if she should make up a new name, give the same name she had given Cullen or give her own name.

"Magpie," a voice said behind them. Ali looked behind and almost fell backwards at the redheaded pair of sad eyes that stared back at her.

"Quartermaster," Leliana said passed Ali, "her name is Magpie."

Ali said nothing as the quartermaster wrote her name down, threw a long string of words at her, about how one should act, where to get food or resources, to ask around for work, where to sleep. Ali barely listened as her attention had followed Leliana away from the requisition to a couple of tents to the side.

"Are you listening?"

"What?" Ali said, "yes, of course… ser, yes."

The quartermaster rolled her eyes.

"Get out of my sight," she said, "go with Andraste, the Maker, whatever."

Gratefully, Ali turned around and slowly headed towards the tents where she had seen Leliana enter. She swallowed a couple of times, hoping that Leliana wouldn't think that she had come here to find her. Ali hadn't known that Leliana was with the Inquisition, a movement she hadn't even heard of before this. She would have to ask around later.

Ali was about to enter the tent with her heart beating in her throat, when a hand grabbed her shoulders and pulled her backwards.

"What are you doing?" It was a chantry sister, Ali could see that on the clothes, "don't bother Sister Leliana, refugee."

"Sister Leliana?" Ali asked.

"Yes," the chantry sister said impatiently, "she was the left hand of the late Divine, Maker rest her soul. And she is not to be disturbed."

"Oh," Ali said, feeling insecure and suddenly aware of who she was and who she wasn't. She threw a look towards the tent and saw Leliana, the left hand of the Divine, leaning over a desk of probably important papers. As if on que, she looked up and met Ali's gaze. She stood up straight and went towards them.

"It's fine, sister," she said, "I asked for her." Ali just stared as the chantry sister nodded and left and Leliana went back into the tent as if expecting Ali to just follow. Leliana had said that she had asked for Ali, even though she hadn't. And even though she had, Ali felt insecure. She was just a prostitute, and Leliana was a hand of the Divine. Eventually she went into the tent.

"Why are you here?" Leliana asked without looking up from the papers on the desk, "did you com to ask the Inquisition for help?"

"I didn't know you were… that the Inquisition was here," Ali said, "I was just trying to get away."

"From the rift?" Leliana asked, still not looking at her, "then you went in the wrong direction."

"Just away," Ali said, "the… place I worked in closed down a few days ago. I've been just been moving around since then."

"You're safe here," Leliana said without any emotion, "we have a lot of refugees and resources. It's not the most comfortable life, but I'd say it should be better for you." Ali stared at her, almost unbelieving at how cold Leliana was being. After what they had shared, or what Ali thought that she had shared.

"I didn't know," she started but Leliana cut her off.

"That I was an agent of the Divine? Why would I have told you?"

"No reason," Ali said, swallowing back tears. It shouldn't have hurt her but it did. _It was just a business transaction, _Ali tried to tell herself, _I've had hundreds of customers. Leliana was no different. _But Leliana had felt different.

"Well?" Now Leliana looked up at her, her face betraying no emotion. And Ali understood, she was being dismissed. But before she left and tried to find the other refugees, there was something she needed to know.

"Why Magpie?" She asked. Leliana pointed at her hair.

"You look like a magpie," she said, "with that white line in all that black. And I guessed that any name you would give would be a fake one anyway. At least pick a fake one that makes sense."

"Oh," Ali said, unsure of what else to say, "well, good bye."

Leliana didn't answer as Ali left the tent and went back out to the cold. It hadn't been her intention to find Leliana, or a refugee camp, but at least she didn't need to worry about food or shelter anymore.


	7. The first week at Haven

**The first week at Haven**

It was cold when Ali got up early to feed the birds and clean the cages. It was expected of all refuges to help out with all kind of tasks. Ali didn't mind it, she was eager to help, but she had no real skills. She couldn't cook, she wasn't good with producing weapons or clothes, she only had one skill and she wasn't about to start up her own business. Eventually the requisitions officer suggested that Ali could help out with animal care, tending the horses, feeding and cleaning Sister Leliana's birds and other such tasks. Ali was eager to start.

Which led her to this point, waking up at the crack of dawn and heading to Leliana's tent to clean out the cages and feed the birds. The thought of being in the vicinity of Leliana was equally thrilling, even though Ali didn't expect to meet her this early in the morning.

The sun was barely creeping over the mountains and a cold wind was sweeping through Haven, pulling at Ali's shawl and forcing little pieces of ice to constantly bite at her cheeks. She hurried towards the tent, seeking shelter from the wind. Keeping the birds there wasn't ideal, Ali thought, it was easily too cold for them. She pulled the shawl even closer and entered, then stopped dead in her tracks. Leliana was in front of her, kneeling and clearly praying, Ali had no choice but to hear everything.

"Blessed are the peacekeepers, the champions of the just. Blessed are the rightous, the lights in the shadows. In their blood, the Maker's will is written. Is that what you want from us? Blood? To die so that your will is done? Is death your only blessing?" Her voice was sad and Ali felt terrible for walking in on such a private moment, she was about to turn around when the birds must have discovered her because they started squaking and beating their wings.

Leliana moved her head to the side and stood up, her mere gaze acusing Ali of intentionally disturbing her.

"I'm… I'm… I'm sorry," Ali said, "I'm just here to take care of the birds."

"Whatever," Leliana said. She crossed her arms in front of her chest, "just get on with it." Ali bowed her head lightly and then headed towards the cages. Then she looked at it in panic, the cages had no doors.

"Here," Leliana snapped and joined Ali's side, she touched underneath the cage and must have touched an opening mechanism because the side of the cage sprang open.

"Thank you," Ali said, completely mortified. She reached inside the cage, reaching for the small bowl intending to fill it with food.

"Don't, they will…" Leliana started but it was too late. The big black bird inside the cage had already jumped forward and sunk it's beak into Ali's palm. Ali yelled and pulled her hand back, almost making the cage fall to the ground if Leliana hadn't been there to stop it from toppling over. She closed the cage as Ali blew on her wound.

"You idiot," Leliana said, "we have enough problems without loosing our birds to incompetent…" she took a deep breath, "...they aren't pets. You need to be careful."

"I'm sorry," Ali whispered, feeling her face burn. She heard Leliana sigh again.

"Nobody taught you this, how would you know," Leliana said, "come here. The last thing you need is to get an infection in this weather." She held out her hand until Ali carefully put her hand in hers. Leliana took a grip of her wrist, not too gently and inspected the wound.

"At least it's shallow." She let go for a moment while leaning down and picked up some snow, then she grabbed Ali's wrist again before putting the snow on the wound. It was cold and made the wound sting, but Ali knew that it was to clean it so she forced herself to stand still. When Leliana was satisfied, she pulled out a cloth from the bag and quickly tied it around Ali's hands.

"There," she said and let go of Ali's hand, "take care of the birds now. But don't put your hand in the cage and…"

"How am I suppose to fulfill my task without putting my hand inside the cage?" The look that Leliana gave her, showed Ali that it was not okay to interuppt. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"You let the bird come out and sit on your shoulder first," Leliana said, "then without the bird in there, you can do whatever you want."

"They won't fly away?"

"No,"

"Okay," Ali said, she was terrified of going anywhere near the bird again but Leliana was scarier and she moved towards the cage. Luckily, it was just as Leliana had said, Ali put her arm forward, the bird jumped out and sat down on it, then Ali could do her task in the cage. Leliana didn't talk at all while Ali worked, she was just bent over documents on the table, Ali was curious to know what Leliana actually did for the Inquisition but she knew it wasn't her place to ask. Eventually she had cleaned all the cages and fed all the birds. She locked the last one and straightened up. Her bones were hurting in the cold. She turned around and watched Leliana for a moment. Her face betrayed nothing but Ali could see she was upset, maybe she had lost people at the Conclave. Ali wanted to stay there, be near her, hear her voice, see her face. Their previous connection had probably meant nothing, but all Ali could think of when she was Leliana was the feeling of Leliana's lips on hers and quivering muscles around her fingers. It was wrong, but Ali knew she couldn't help it either.

"You're really scary," she said, then before Leliana had a chance to answer she left, heading to the stables to feed the horses next. She didn't turn around and because of this she couldn't see Leliana looking after her.


	8. Three days later

**Three days later**

Ali picked up the hayfork and started forking the hay from the wagon to the floor of the pen. She enjoyed the physical labour, it made her warm in the cold air. She enjoyed taking care of the horses the most, it was the only time she got to stay outside the gates of Haven for any longer period of time. She would look at the mountains all around, dreaming about other cities to be discovered, but then she would look at the green rift and realise that it was better for her to just stay put. As easy at had been for Ali to adjust to living at Haven, her feet were already itching to move, to experience other places. But there wasn't anywhere to go, and she did not want to wind up in some whore house again.

"Magpie, can you come here?" The name that Leliana had chosen for her had stuck and Ali lifted her head up when Cullen approached her. Ali liked Cullen, he seemed so rightous and kind. A proper gentleman.

"Yes, ser, what can I help with?" She said as he got closer to her place by the pen.

"Nugs. the chantry is overrun by them." Ali lifted her eyebrows.

"You want me to kill nugs?" That was really outside her usual tasks.

"Not necessarily," Cullen said, "we were thinking of capturing them and setting them free but away from the Haven."

Ali raised an eyebrow.

"Some of the advisors don't like the idea of just killing them," he said, answering her silent question, "and Sister Leliana suggested you for the job."

"Do we have cages and stuff?" Ali asked.

"I believe so, yes," Cullen said, "the kitchens have some spare boxes you can use. And be careful to not let them bite you."

Ali chuckled to herself as Cullen left, she had more bitemarks than fingers on her hands after taking care of the animals for a week, one more bite wouldn't hurt her.

She finished off her task and then she headed to the kitchens. She brought two big boxes and hoped that it'd be enough, then she headed to the chantry. She glanced at the tents just opposite of the chantry as she passed by, but for once Leliana wasn't there.

It felt daunting to enter the chantry building, the heart of the budding Inquisition. Ali wasn't really versed in what was going on, or what the purpose of the Inquisition was and she couldn't say she really cared. She was content in not being responsible for the gaping wound in the sky. But the advisors projected authority and it was humbling to step into the place that housed them.

At least the hallway was empty and Ali didn't have to feel selfconscious about nug hunting. She put the boxes on the floor and then she started walking, looking for any sign of a pinkish animal. There was nothing. She whistled and tried to remember anything she could about nugs. Sadly it wasn't much. Ali was from Kirkwall, and nugs weren't too common there. She went through the whole hallway. No nugs. Maybe there were down in the dungeon? Ali hoped not, she didn't feel like going there by herself. And why did the chantry have a dungeon anyway? It didn't seem like a very Andrastian thing to have.

A sudden sound made Ali look up. It was coming from the room at the end of the hallway and it had sounded strangely like a sob. Even though she knew she shouldn't she went closer and carefully pressed her ear against the door. Her ear had hardly touched the wood when the door was forcibly pulled open and Ali fell forward, landing on a very angry Leliana.

"Wha-! I'm sorry! Oh sorry! Please excuse me!" Ali rambled as she straightened up again but didn't manage to do it without grabbing hold of Leliana's arm in the process. With her face turning the colour of blood, Ali stood up straight and looked down on the ground.

"I'm sorry," she said one last time but didn't dare to look up.

"I think your job was to catch the nugs," Leliana said in a stern voice, "not eavesdrop." Ali nodded.

"Look at me for a second," Leliana said. Ali looked up and Leliana's eyes bore into her with intensity. Neither of them said nothing for a long while. Finally, Leliana seemed satisfied and her gaze softened a little bit.

"You act very suspiciously," she said to Ali as she went back to the war table and leaned over it, "if you didn't look so innocent one would think you're up to something."

"I'm sorry," Ali said, "I didn't mean… I just heard… I didn't… it won't happen again."

"You would make a terrible spy," Leliana said.

"Well, I'm not a spy," Ali said.

"No, you're a prostitute," Leliana said, "and nug catcher." Leliana made a sound that sounded like a giggle and Ali didn't know if she was supposed to be offended or not.

"Nug catcher will do," Ali said weakly.

"Tell me, nug catcher," Leliana said while still looking at the war table, "who do you sympathise with, mages or templars?"

"What? Why?" Ali said.

"Mages or templars?" Leliana said and looked up, "it's hardly a hard question." Ali wanted to ask if Leliana was joking and she wasn't sure what answer to give. Eventually she settled on the truth.

"That's a loaded question to ask someone from Kirkwall," she said. Something glistened in Leliana's eyes but it was gone the next second.

"Are you saying you don't have an opinion or you just don't want to share it?"

"I think both sides are idiots," Ali eventually said, "anybody can do a crime, mage or not. Why should I need to choose a side? I'm on my own side." She thought for a moment, "but I'd probably side with mages because they were born that way, the templars at least had a choice."

Leliana nodded.

"You don't care that a mage could hurt you with just a thought from several feet?"

"No disrespect, lady," Ali said, "but so could you with a bow and arrow if the rumours I've heard are true."

Leliana chuckled, a purring sound that melted Ali's insides.

"Go back to your duties, nug hunter," she said, "they are probably in the dungeon, but we have no prisoners there. There is no reason for you to be scared."

"Thank you," Ali said and turned around, she was just about to close the door when Leliana spoke again.

"And magpie?" Ali looked up.

"Don't let me catch you in here again, yes?" Leliana said. Ali nodded humbly, then she closed the door and fled.


	9. Later that night

**Later that night**

Ali was lucky to have her own tent. She knew that it was mainly because the others thought she smelled like the horses' pen but Ali considered herself lucky. She enjoyed the solitude and having her own space. Her bedroll was cold and sometimes the wind pulled at her tent, keeping her awake. But Ali preferred it over nosy tentmates. It wasn't that she didn't get along with the other refugees, it just wasn't in her nature to actively seek out friendships. She also liked being able to sleep soundly without the sounds of snores or sighs or people letting wind during the night. That's why she managed to fall asleep so quickly after a day of dealing with horses, caring for birds and catching nugs; she knew that her sleep would be undisturbed.

That's why she didn't wake up when somebody joined her on her bedroll in the middle of the night. At first the gentle hands that were evading her personal space and creeping under her blanket to grasp at her naked skin became a part of her dream. She moaned and a warm mouth attacked hers, a wicked tongue finding its way inside. Ali might have continued to sleep even as the other person moved on top of her, if it hadn't been for the alcohol on the other person's breath.

Ali woke up to find Leliana on top of her, reeking of alcohol and trying to kiss her sloppily. Ali tried to worm away and put her hands on Leliana's shoulders.

"What are you doing?" She said, breathless.

"I want you," Leliana slurred, "please, just one more time." Her eyes were wide and terrified, she looked sad and in the same time very turned on. Her skin was flushed and her mouth was slightly open.

"I'm not a prostitute anymore," Ali said with her grip firm on Leliana's shoulders. Leliana took a deep breath.

"I know that," she said.

Ali reached out and grabbed a handful of orange-tinged hair.

"I just want you to know that I'm doing this because I want to," Ali said. Then she used her grip on Leliana's hair to pull her down for a kiss. She could have been offended that Leliana had just come to her tent, but more than anything Ali wanted to help the scary woman in any way she could. That Leliana, the powerful woman, could want her was dizzying and it made Ali's heart beat faster. The fire in the nightingale's eyes were threatening to burn her up but Ali didn't care. This she could do, this was something she was good at. And for once she really wanted to. She sat up and reached for Leliana's armor.

"My lady," she breathed, "if you want us to do this you need to take your army off." Leliana's answer was to pull her clothes over her head while Ali helped her with her trousers. Soon she was just as naked as Ali and Ali could finally lift her blanket and let Leliana come underneath it. Leliana groaned at the contact, Ali did as well but not for the same reason. Leliana's skin was frozen.

"I'm sorry," Leliana said, her accent thicker than usual, "I must be freezing."

"It's okay," Ali said, "I'll warm you up." She put her arms around Leliana's shoulders and encouraged her to lay down their bodies completely aligning. Ali moaned when Leliana spread her legs and pressed their cores together. Leliana was wet and it made Ali feel powerful and overwhelmed in the same time. Before she had a chance to react, Leliana had started rocking and moving against her. Ali reciprocated as well as she could, cupping Leli's breast with one hand and teasing the nipple into hardness.

"It hurts," Leliana slurred, "please, I need…" she rocked harder but simultaneosly made a whimpering sound as if her frantic movement against Ali's mound was nowhere near enough to push her over the edge.

Ali shushed her gently and gripped her hips, stopping her movement.

"I'll help you," she said and pressed a quick kiss to Leliana's forehead. Then she moved so that Leliana was on her back and Ali was towering over her. Ali wanted to do what she had dreamed off for weeks and truly discover and worship Leliana's body in all its glory but Leliana's chest was heaving with strained breathing and the look in her eyes was more than urgent. She looked like she was in pain and Ali wanted to help her.

Leliana thrashed a bit as Ali kissed her way down Leliana's body, but she stopped when Ali reached her destination and gently placed a kiss on top of red curls.

"Don't forget to breathe," Ali whispered, then she leaned down and licked in earnest. Leliana didn't move now, as if Ali would stop if she did. But when Ali wrapped her lips around her, Ali noticed to her pleasure that even though Leliana was laying still, her toes were curling deliciously.

"Make me come, make me come, make me come, make me come," Ali heard above her and doubled her effort. She brought one of her hands up and entered Leliana with two fingers, eager to feel her warmth and her wetness while she was licking her lips.

"Please," Leliana gasped, then she pulsed in Ali's mouth and made an almost heart wrenching cry. Ali was incredly turned on herself and she felt her hips rock against the bedroll, missing something to grind herself against. She knew she couldn't possibly come from nothing touching her and she moaned against Leliana's lips in her own desperation.

Leliana went limp underneath her, breathing deeply. Ali couldn't help but place one last kiss on the tempting lips just under her mouth, but then she moved her body next to Leliana's and pulled the blanket over both of them. After such an explosive orgasm, Ali would have thought that Leliana would be fast asleep but Sister Nightingale was staring into the celing of the tent, looking at nothing.

"Are you okay?" Ali whispered after a while, it was weird how none of them had said anything.

"What is your real name?" Leliana asked, ignoring Ali's question, "even though Magpie suits you, I hardly think that's what your mother and father called you."

Ali thought for a moment. She licked her lips, still slick.

"I've never had a father," she said eventually, "but my name is Ali."

"Short for anything?" Leliana asked.

"Short for nothing," Ali answered, "my name is just Ali. No last name."

"And you're from Kirkwall?"

"Yes," Ali said.

"High town or Low town?"

Ali smiled.

"I didn't know you had been to Kirkwall," she said approvingly, "well, I'm sort of from High town."

"Sort of?" Leliana was still not looking at her.

"I don't know how well you know Kirkwall or High town," Ali said, "but I was born at the Blooming Rose."

Leliana looked at her then with one eyebrow raised.

"My mother worked there." Ali didn't want to say anything more, she didn't want to think about her mother, or her "aunts" or the Blooming Rose. Or even Kirkwall now that she thought about it.

"My mother was a chamber maid," Leliana said, "where you come from is not as important as where you are going."

Ali snorted.

"I went from one whore house to another," she said, "now I'm a refugee."

Leliana smiled, simultaneously teasing and soothing.

"You're a nug hunter for the Inquisition," she said, "surely that's a step up."

"Perhaps," Ali agreed, smiling again.

"Tell me the story," Leliana said and laid on her side, resting her head on her elbow, looking at Ali.

"About what?"

"Start with your mother, and father."

Ali sighed.

"My mother…" she said, "she wasn't very nice. My father… well, he must have been human."

Leliana opened her mouth, but Ali didn't let her say anything.

"My mother is elven," Ali said, "but I look human so I suppose that the customer who knocked my mother up must have been human."

"Maybe it wasn't a customer," Leliana said, "why would she have kept you if it was?"

"Sure," Ali said bitterly, "my mother loved me. Too bad I can't remember any of that love. All I remember is bottles of wine and ale, alcohol on her breath. I remember bruises and I remember this," she pointed to the start of the white hair, "she pulled a chunk of my hair out once. It grew out white after. That's the memories I have of my mother."

"I'm sorry," Leliana said.

Ali calmed herself down.

"When the war broke out in Kirkwall," Ali continued, "I did the one thing everyone else was doing, I fled but I took it as an opportunity. I fled Kirkwall altogether, letting my mother believe that I died. I've been on the moves ever since. Changing my name, faking accents. I've been everywhere."

"How did you wind up where I found you?" Leliana asked.

"I ran out of money," Ali said, her face reddening, "I didn't know what to do. I had stolen every piece of gold and silver they had a the Blooming Rose. It lasted me for a long time but eventually reality caught up with me. It was only supposed to be a temporary thing but it was hard to leave. I got used to it. And on some level I suppose I felt like I deserved it too."

"And now you're here." Leliana said, sleepiness seeping into her voice.

"And now I'm here," Ali said.

"Can you do an Orlesian accent?" Leliana asked all of a sudden.

Ali chuckled.

"Why of course, madame," she said, forcing a Val Royeaux accent into her voice, "bien sur." Leliana chuckled.

"That's funny," she said, "I might have played many roles, but one thing I cannot do is change my accent."

"You're from Orlais?" Ali asked.

"No," Leliana said, "I was born in Ferelden." She offered no explanation however and Ali didn't feel like it was her place to ask.

An owl cried somewhere in the night.

"I should go," Leliana said, "thank you for…" she made a gesture between them, "the lovely chat."

"Anytime," Ali said and then looked on as Leliana awkwardly gathered her clothes, got dressed and then left. It was only when Ali had secured the tent flap behind Leliana that she realised that Leliana had barely touched her. Feeling slightly cheated and fully aware of the moisture between her legs, Ali closed her eyes, pulled the blanket over her head and forced herself to sleep.


	10. The second week at Haven

**SPOILER WARNING: Mentions the Quest "In hushed whispers."**

* * *

**The second week at Haven**

During the next few days Ali wondered if she had imagined the whole thing. Leliana paid her no interest during the next few days and Ali didn't seek her out. There were things going on, Ali wasn't sure what. Something had happened, something that had shocked their leaders. She tried to not listen to rumours but it was difficult, whisperings of that Trevelyan person travelling to the future, of seeing the very ending of the world, of demon armies, of everyone dying. Of Leliana dying the most traumatizing death of all. Of rifts and mages and evils.

This time, when Ali went to take care of the birds and saw that Leliana was there, talking with Trevelyan, Ali tried to act casual but had every intention of eavesdropping.

Leliana flashed her a quick look when Ali entered the tent, but didn't seem to think her a threat as she faced Trevelyan soon again. Ali put her face down and kneeled in front of the cages.

"If the most opposed can be identified," Leliana continued whatever she had been saying, "we may still turn this to our advantage."

"You're always looking for some way to benefit, aren't you?" Trevelyan asked. Ali thought it was a stupid question. She opened the cage and held out her arm for the bird to step on it.

"It's what I'm here for," Leliana said, "regardless I applaud you for standing up for the mages."

"Yes, well," Trevelyan seemed hesitent, "Leliana, in Redcliffe, you sacrified yourself so that I could return here."

Ali had to stop herself from making a surprised noise.

"Of course I did," Leliana said, her voice seeming happy but in the same time showing no emotion, "one small life in exchange for a second chance at history? I always loved a bargain."

Ali had to swallow back the words she wanted to say. Instead she focused on cleaning out the cage.

"It was still a sacrifice and still noble." Poor Trevelyan, Ali wanted to laugh, the noble woman really didn't have a pragmatic view on life.

"And I would do it again," Leliana said. Trevelyan, whom Ali expected had some kind of crush on Leliana, mumbled something and then left. Ali couldn't help but lift her head and look as the strange human left the tent, green sparks coming from her palm.

"How much of that did you hear?" Leliana asked her all of a sudden.

"All of it," Ali said in a low voice.

"You couldn't help but listen, huh?" Ali looked up and took a breath of relief when Leliana looked more amused than angry.

"Well," Ali said, "you were talking about it in my presence. It's not my fault."

Leliana chuckled, but then her face turned more serious.

"I have a job for you, if you're interested," she said, "sadly it doesn't involve catching nugs."

"Do I have a choice?" Ali asked, "or do I have to accept it for the good of the Inquisition or something like that."

"I don't know," Leliana said, "do you have a choice?" Ali looked at her for a moment, but Leliana's face betrayed nothing.

"What kind of job?" Ali said, "it better not involve fighting or killing."

"No," Leliana said, "it's a job where all I require from you is to be your own pretty self, maybe exaggerate your innocence a bit of course, and a fake Orlesian accent."

"What is it that you want me to do?"

"One of empress Celene's girls have taken terribly ill suddenly," Leliana said, leaning over her desk again, "she needs a new chambermaid."

"And you think I'm…"

"Don't be ridiculous," Leliana interuppted, "not you, Magpie, Ali, whoever. No, but maybe Regina Amaleoné, cousin to the late Duke Amaleoné, recently come of age and desperately wanting to see the court."

Ali had no words and stared at Leliana without moving until the bird on her arm moved impatiently. She put it back inside the cage.

"Regina Amaleoné was raised quite isolated," Leliana continued, "and is unused to finer company and the greater aspects of the game. Rather endearing if you like that sort of thing."

"Does Regina really exist?" Ali asked.

"Does that matter?" Leliana counterasked, "she does if you accept."

"What is it that you need me to actually do?" Ali asked, "I doubt that the empress has a nug problem and I don't think that emptying the empress' chamber pots will somehow serve the Inquisition."

"I want you to listen," Leliana said, "and watch. I have agents among my servants that you can report to should anything happen."

"Why can't they see and listen?" Ali asked.

"Because they are in the kitchen, or among the guards. You would be in the inner sanctum."

Ali closed the cage after feeding the bird and then stood up. She didn't know why but she wanted to accept.

"And what is it that you accept me to see or hear?" She asked.

Leliana sighed.

"Probably nothing," she said, "which is why I'm sending you rather than one of my fighters. Mainly I want to know who she trusts and why."

"I'm just another one of your magpies then," Ali said while looking at the birds in the cages.

"Perhaps," Leliana said, "but your cage will be prettier than theirs. Is that a yes?"

Ali nodded.


	11. The last day at Haven

**The last day at Haven**

"You're not taking me there?" Ali hated how small her voice sounded.

"Of course not," Leliana said calmly as she showed Ali the last two dresses, "I have enjoyed picking out your dresses, training you to make sure you don't make any terrible faux pas, but I really can't leave my post."

Ali felt silly, of course Leliana couldn't leave her post.

"Don't worry," Leliana said and closed the trunk, "every agent out there is my eyes, and my ears and my blade. Whatever happens to you, I will know about it. Wherever my people are, so I am. And they will keep you safe."

_It's hardly the same as having you there, _Ali thought but didn't say. Even though she had looked forward to seeing another place, she felt almost bound by fear.

"I don't know whether you are stupid or smarter than most people," Leliana said suddenly, closing the trunk properly and then joining Ali on the bench.

"What do you mean?" Ali asked.

"You don't ask anything." Leliana rolled her thumbs as if anxious about someting, "you haven't asked me anything since you got here. You don't ask me about the Inquisition. You don't ask me about what's going on. I recieve questions and worries from everyone. Not from you. I wonder, do you not care? Don't you want to know?"

"Do you want me to ask questions?" Ali asked carefully, staring at the continous movement of Leliana's thumbs.

"Not necessarily," Leliana replied, "but if you did, what would you ask?"

Ali didn't have to think for a second.

"Who are you?"

"I am Leliana," Leliana said, "do you need to know much more?"

"Perhaps not," Ali said, feeling insecure. She tugged on her braid.

"Fine," Leliana said, "you get one question. Can't guarantee an answer though."

That was almost worse, Ali had a thousand questions about Leliana. Some of them she couldn't even begin to find proper words for.

"Why do you like nugs so much?" She said eventually. It was stupid and she knew it. Luckily Leliana's face broke into something resembling a proper smile.

"I was given one as a pet a long time ago," she said with a dreamy expression on her face, "I called her Schmooples."

"Schmooples?" Ali giggled.

"Not what you expected?" Leliana said and chuckled as well.

"Nope," Ali said, "really not."

"Well, Schmooples was a lovely pet. Affectionate, clean, smart. I taught her tricks and she kept me company for a long time."

"What happened to her?" Ali asked.

"She died of old age," Leliana said, looking sad again, "she had babies though, Schmooples II and her babies are kept safe by aquiantances, far away from here. And that was two questions." Her thumbs stopped rolling and she stood up, marking the end of their casual conversation.

"Can I ask one more?" Ali said, not wanting Leliana to leave.

Leliana lifted one eyebrow.

"Yes?" She said eventually.

"Never mind," Ali said, loosing her nerve. There were so many questions Ali wanted to ask, so many questions she knew that Leliana would never answer or maybe even reprimand her for asking. Why did you give me a job? was one of them. What is your job? was another. Why did you sleep with me? was a third. Ali didn't think she would ever get to ask these questions. And it worried her. She was about to leave, maybe she'd die while away, maybe Leliana would die. Maybe she would never see Leliana again. It was possible.

"You scare me," she said.

"I am good with a weapon," Leliana said, "and I have friends in high places. It's only natural that you'd be scared."

"That's not what I mean," Ali said, "I wonder if you can smile, and mean it. I wonder if you know who you are. The thought that you might have forgotten is what scares me."

Leliana looked away from her, keeping her expression out of Ali's vision.

"Go down to the stables this afternoon and ask for Minevera," Leliana said, still looking away and her voice betraying no emotion, "she'll be your escort both covertly and overtly. When arriving at the Winter Palace, act naturally. The empress is expecting somebody naive and awkward. You'll fit right in." With that Leliana left the room without looking back.


	12. The first months at the Winter Palace

**Spoiler warning: Don't read if you haven't done the mission "In your heart shall burn". Minor spoiler warning for what the Winter palace is like, I guess.**

* * *

**The first months at the Winter Palace**

Ali had thought that the Winter Palace would be an exciting place to be, but the truth was that it bored her. Everyone were so wrapped up in themselves and some of the things they fought about were absolutely trivial. It's like they didn't know that there was a rift in the sky or that there was a civil war going on, instead they were bickering over who stole who's shoes or who was having an affair with whom. Ali wanted to be back in Haven, with the real people. With the people who didn't hide behind masks. And with the one masked person that Ali just wanted to be near.

At least it was easy enough for Ali to just blend in. Leliana had done all the groundwork for her, all Ali had to do was pretend that her name was really Regina Amaleoné, otherwise she could be her own awkward self. Even the empress herself seemed to mainly be amused with Ali's clumsiness, and timidness. And the tasks were simple and mostly pleasant. Sing for the empress. Do her hair. Listen to her talk for hours about nothing. Stand in attention behind her, like a pretty flower or statue. It was easy for Ali to understand her role. And after several weeks at the Winter Palace, it was easy enough to put on a mask of her own.

…

"_Oh maker, that is so sad."_

"_Everyone dead."_

"_I heard a river came and washed them all away."_

"_All they found after the monster left was their clothes, everyone had been obliterated on the spot."_

"_There is only a crater left."_

"_I heard the rift is even bigger now."_

Ali couldn't help but hear all the talks around her as she walked through the empress day room with a tray of lemonade and several cups.

"_Have you heard? Haven has been wiped off of the map."_

Suddenly everyone quieted as Ali's tray fell to the floor and all the glasses were crashed against the marbel. Everyone turned around to look at her, but instead of apologizing and blushing, Ali left the tray and spilled out lemonade where it was and headed to the nearest of the empress advisors.

"What has happened?" She exclaimed at the woman's masked face, "what has happened in Haven?" The woman's eyes were slightly wide but she didn't say anything, it took everything Ali had to not lift her hands and shake the woman. She couldn't think properly.

"What are you doing, Regina?" The advisor eventually hissed, "you messed up the floor."

"Tell me," Ali said, but she forced herself to at least lower her voice, "please tell me, what has happened."

An authoritative voice behind her made Ali turn around and drop her gaze imidiately.

"We heard about trouble in Haven," the empress said, "and when we sent scouts to find out what was really going on, and Haven is gone. Covered in snow. What is left reeks of blood and fire. Our guess is that no one survived."

The world stopped. _No survivors. _Ali felt like she couldn't breathe. Like she was buried by the snow. She remembered how cold it could be. How it would feel if the snow covered her body, her face, her nose and mouth. No air. She tried to breathe but couldn't. Before Ali knew it, her knees buckled. She was unconscious before she hit the ground.

…

"Regina. Regina, ma petite, why don't you wake up now? Regina?" Ali didn't know where she was at first, or why the feminine voice was calling her Regina.

"Where am I?" She asked, trying to open her eyes but her eyelids were so heavy.

"You're at the Winter Palace, at the empress' court."

Everything came rushing back. Her mission. Her alias. Haven. Leliana. Leliana dead. Ali sat up and was met by the bewildered face of one of the other chamber maids.

"Are you okay?" Fredrica Pan du flute said, "I took care of the lemonade, you don't need to worry." Ali didn't understand what Fredrica meant but then she remembered. The lemonade. Like she worried about broken glass and some spilled lemonade. Nothing mattered anymore. She wanted to lay back down and sleep.

"The Empress says you can rest for the rest of the day," Fredrica continued next to her, seemingly oblivious to the fact that Ali felt like she was buried under six feet of snow.

She nodded. She had no intention of resting, instead she wanted to seek out Minereva or any of the other NIghtinggale agents. Any one could have heard anything. If Leliana was truly dead, Ali needed to run. Disappear. Go back to Ferelden. Or anywhere. Far away from the breach in the sky.

"Thank you," Ali said, slipping back into her role, "please convey to the empress my deepest regrets for missing the card game this evening and for… the lemonade." She met Fredrica's masked face and smiled, although it hardly mattered since she was also wearing a mask.

…

"Minereva? Are you here?" The stables seemed empty so Ali wasn't worried that anybody would see her there, and if they did, she could say that the smell of the stables and the sound of the horses reminded her of joyful despair, or the stables back home, or something else depending on who asked. Ali walked further into the stable, when a hand came out of nowhere and pulled her into the box of a horse.

"What are you doing here?" It was Minereva, undoubtly one of the tallest of Leliana's agents. She was now looking down at Ali with fire in her eyes.

"I… I came… I wanted to ask… Lelia-"

"Don't say her name!" Minereva let go of Ali and looked away. When she looked back, her eyes were angry and full of tears.

"So it's true?" Ali said, her own eyes watering, "it's really true!"

"Shut your mouth," Minereva said, "how are you going to explain to the others that you're crying and moping all the time? Over people who don't even matter."

"She mattered!" Ali couldn't help but raise her voice, "she matters."

"You think I don't know that!" Minereva said, "but she mattered to us. To the Inquisition. Maker bless her soul. Not to these false people who reside within these walls."

Ali couldn't help it, she fell to her knees in the straw, put her face in her hands and started sobbing loudly.

"Stop it!" She heard Minereva say above her, "you need to stop it now." But Ali didn't stop it. She wasn't there anymore. Her heart was encased in a snowy tomb.


	13. Dead

**AN: short little chapter today, but I'm starting the next one right away so you may have it later. I thought that I'd write the ball now but there was something else that had to happen first. Happy holidays to anyone celebrating!**

* * *

**Dead**

The next few days were awful for Ali. She had no idea how her body could keep living when she felt like she had died. She had no choice but continue. And there was comfort in continuying being Regina Amaleoné. Ali was dead. Ali was allowed to be dead. Regina could take over. Regina's mask was always smiling. No one could see Ali's perpetually wet cheeks under her cold, har mask. Ali could be dead and no one would notice. Not even Ali herself.

…

It had been seven days. Seven, long, horrible days. Ali had finally snuck out to the gardens for some alone time. There were people everywhere, always talking. Ali'd had enough. She just wanted a few minutes of silence for herself. She sat down by the fountain in the garden and counted the pennies in the water. It was a silly tradition of course. Not one that Ali cared for one bit. Metal and water could do nothing. It was silly. Ali let her fingers touch the water.

"Excuse me, Lady Amaleoné?" Ali removed her fingers from the water as if burnt and stood up. It was Minereva almost running towards her. Her face was light, hopeful and Ali's heart sped up against her will. She really didn't want to get her hopes up. She didn't. She shouldn't. But when they locked eyes, Minereva actually smiled.

"I have knews."

Ali said nothing. She didn't dare.

"This is for you." Minereva handed her a scrap of paper, "I doubt I need to tell you that you need to get rid of it after reading?"

Ali nodded, still loss for words. She watched Minereva go back towards the stables, it wasn't good for them to be seen together after all. Then Ali turned to the scrap of paper in her hand. She unwrapped it with shaking fingers. When she saw what was waiting within, she couldn't help but let out a gasp. It was just a drawing. A simple drawing of a mapie with a branch in its mouth. Ali got the message though. Leliana was still alive. Ali didn't know what to do with the sudden happiness that flooded through her system. She wanted to run after Minereva, prod her for information. Surely Leliana had given Minereva a longer message, otherwise the agent wouldn't have been smiling like a fool. An uninvited and unexpected feeling of jealousy fleeted through Ali. Why hadn't she got a longer message? Ali was about to run after Minereva and demand to see any other message when the dinner bell rang. Ali looked longily at the direction of the stables but there was no way. She had to return to the dining hall and be the Regina that everyone expected. But as Ali entered the dining hall, walked over the cold marble floors again, her heart was light and her smile matched the one on her mask. She hated Orlais, at the Winter Palace everything was either blown out of proportion or minimized. She could probably get away with murdur, but not with a fashion crime. But everything was okay again, because the Nightingale was still not dead.


	14. A ball

**Hey, my life has been a mess lately so I haven't been able to write much. But I'm hopefully back now. I apologize in advance for any typos. And spoiler warning for the quest "wicked eyes and wicked hearts". Enjoy!**

* * *

**A ball**

"Lady Inquisitor Trevelyan, daughter of Bann Trevelyan of Ostwick." At the mention of a familiar name, Ali walked closer to the railing. She didn't think it would incriminate her since most of the people standing near the empress went a bit closer to get a look at the Inquisitor. But Ali was more interested in Trevelyan's party. She barely listened as the the man kept announcing all of Trevelyan's titles and then went on to list all of Cassandra's name. At the sight of Cassandra, all proper and dressed up, Ali wanted to chuckle. She wondered if any of the people there could imagine that the first time she had seen Cassandra it had been in a small whore house in Ferelden. The man announced more names, but Ali hardly paid attention, they didn't mean much to her. She recognized Cassandra, Cullen and Trevelyan, but otherwise there was just one name she wanted to hear. And then:

"Lady Leliana, Nightingale of the Imperial court, veteran of the fifth blight, senechal of the Inquisition and left hand of the Divine." That was an impressive amount of titles but Ali couldn't care less. They meant nothing until she had seen Leliana with her own eyes. And soon the redhaired walked into her line of sight. Ali had to grab the railing to not fall. She didn't know if Leliana could even recognize her with her mask and unfamiliar way of dressing, but it didn't matter. To Ali, it felt wrong that Leliana's eyes didn't imidiately zone in on her.

She listened with half an ear, until the empress finally stopped talking. Ali watched as the guests moved to the front, did cursty and then moved to different places in the ballroom, Ali counted the seconds. Then minutes. Eventually when the empress left to go somewhere, Ali approached Leliana.

"Hello," she said, shyly. Leliana turned at her and nodded.

"Lady… Amaléone, is it?" No recognition could be seen in her face. Ali's smile fell.

"Yes, Lady Leliana," she said, "I just came to ask you if you have everything you need."

"Thank you," Leliana said, "yes, I do. You are new to the court, yes? How are you finding it?" Ali searched Leliana's gaze but it revealed nothing. To any outsider it would look like normal conversation but Ali knew what Leliana was really asking.

"I'm enjoying it, thank you," she said. Then she went closer and whispered, "I'm glad you're alive." Leliana looked angry for a moment, but the next second her expression was neutral.

"Why wouldn't I be alive?" She said in the same joyous tone, "now if you excuse me…" she left, leaving Ali to look at her back. Ali felt ridiclous, she knew it was dangerous to reveal that they knew each other but she couldn't help it. Seeing Leliana alive was more than she had ever dreamed and she had needed to tell her that. She didn't want to stay here, she didn't care what anybody said, she didn't want to stay in Orlais anymore. She didn't care what she had to do, she needed to leave.

…

While the Inquisitor was dancing with the empress' cousin and all eyes were on them, Ali looked for Leliana again. She found her whispering something to Cassandra, just outside the Grand Hall. Ali didn't care anymore, she walked to them quickly, ignoring the warning look Leliana gave her.

"Hello," Cassandra said, "wait, I recognize you from somewhere…" her eyes went wide and she clasped her hand over her mouth. Ali had to giggle, apparently she had been the last person Cassandra had expected to meet here.

"Leliana, do you have something to do with this?" Cassandra sounded angry, "you need to tell me when…"

"I'm a left hand," Leliana said, "and I don't think this is the right place to discuss this." She turned to Ali, "is there anything we can do for you, _Lady Amaléone_?" Ali ignored Leliana's annoyance, and smiled sweetly.

"As the matter of fact, there is," she said, her heart hammering in her chest, "when you leave, I would like to come with you."

Leliana nodded, seemingly not interested.

"There is a room at Skyhold waiting for you," she said dismissively but then she continued in a neutral tone of voice, "the empress seems close to her cousins." Ali eyed her curiously, understanding the unsaid question.

"Yes," she said after a little while, "she keeps Gaspard at an armslength which isn't so strange, but it's different with Florianne, to me she…" Ali lowered her voice, "to me she seems like a spoiled brat but the empress is very fond of her." Leliana's eyes glimmered with approval and Ali couldn't help but beam a bit with pride. The bell rang and the women returned to the ballroom.

Inquisitor Trevelyan was dancing with Florianne and Ali leaned her arms on the railing, wanting to look at them. She glanced at Leliana who was standing not so far away. Leliana looked happy and neutral, a front Ali knew, but one of her feet was beating ever so lightly to the music. It was if Leliana's body wanted to dance. As more couples joined the dance floor, Ali itched to ask Leliana to dance. The thought of pulling Leliana close and moving to the music together with her was enough to make Ali dizzy. Suddenly Leliana turned her head and caught Ali looking at her imidiately turned her head away, ashamed, but not before seeing Leliana's gentle smile.

…

The rest of the ball was quite boring. Ali wandered aimlessly between the buffet table and groups of gossiping people. She got asked to dance a couple of times but politely refused, not wanting to loose Leliana from her sights. Ali worried that if she did, the Inquisition would leave the Winter palace without her. Ali was standing by a bowl of punch when Leliana approached her again.

"Lady Amaléone?" Ali did a quick curtsy to keep apparences up.

"Lady Nightingale?" Leliana pointed to the other side of the dance floor.

"Do you see the Inquisitor agent there?" Ali squinted and thought she could make out a man in a red coat. She nodded.

"His name is Blackwall," Leliana said, "I think you should stay close to him for the rest of the night."

"Why?" Ali asked but Leliana had already left, walking toward Trevelyan who looked like she had just been in a fight. Ali didn't know what was going on but she could feel the tension in the air and she made her way to Blackwall quickly. She did recognize him as she got closer. He had always lingered near the stables in Haven but they hadn't exchanged words before this.

"My lady," he said as she got closer. She nodded in greeting. Then they stood next to each other, rather awkwardly. Ali wondered if Blackwall knew that Leliana had appointed him as Ali's bodyguard. Still, she felt safe next to the warrior. If things got dangerous there was no doubt that he would protect.

…

Things happened so quickly. One moment, empress Celene was addressing the ballroom, the next there were gasps, screams and the sharp metallic sound of swords being drawn. Ali's heart starting beating faster, happy that she was standing next to Blackwall even though it meant that she couldn't see anything. Then, before Ali knew it, things were over and Leliana came over to her with a triumphant smile playing on her lips.

"Go and pack your things," she said and handed Ali an envelope, "and put this on your nightstand. There is too much excitement for poor Regina at the court, she has no choice but to return to her uncle's estate right away." Ali nodded, eager to finally leave. She left a surprised Blackwall and hurried to her room.

…

Ali took a deep breath of fresh air as the gates closed behind them. She was finally free of that place. Now she couldn't wait to go home, wherever that might be. She threw a look at Leliana who was muttering something to a woman with dark hair and golden skin.

"Who are you?" Ali turned around and was faced with an elf with chopped blonde hair and a bow on her back.

"It's Sunniva, right?" Cullen came up on her other side, "Leliana mentioned you were working for her."

"Actually, I'm Ali," Ali said, suddenly feeling sick of other names than her own.

"I'm Sera," the elf said, "get ready for a rough trip, yeah? I thought my arse was going to fall off on the way here."

"You'll need to share a horse with one of us," Cullen added. They had reached a small stable and everyone started preparing their horses. Ali looked at Leliana who was gently whispering to and patting a grey horse. Ali knew who it was that she wanted to share horse with, but she didn't think she dared to say it out loud.

Nobody said anything as they finished preparing the horses and then led them out of the stable. Eventually Cullen, without saying a word, grabbed a hold of her waist and put her on his horse before jumping up behind her. The horse seemed nervous in the evening wind and Ali felt safe sitting in front of Cullen with his arms on either side of her waist. It felt good even though she would have preferred to be sitting in front of Leliana.

They started riding, Trevelyan and the dark skinned woman in front, Sera and a huge qunari second, Cassandra and Blackwall third and then Cullen with Ali and Leliana in the back.

Ali looked up at Leliana's face but the woman was looking forward. Then, almost unconsciously, Leliana's eyes drifted to Ali. They landed on her lap, looking at Cullen's arms that were basically resting on top of Ali's thighs, they travelled up, looking at Cullen's arms that were around Ali. Eventually they reached Ali's eyes and Leliana turned around imidiately. But Ali couldn't help but smile. If she didn't know better she would have thought that Leliana was jealous. Leliana's annoyed and tired impression as she looked forward soon got Ali to doubt though. It had been a silly thought. Ali yawned and before she knew it, she had fallen asleep against Cullen's chest.


	15. First day at Skyhold

**First day at Skyhold**

_Skyhold was big_, Ali thought. She had barely noticed it last night when they had arrived in the dark. She had also been fairly exhausted from the ride and sleeping on the ground. She had been half asleep already as the group had dispersed and she had been pushed in the directionof some tents. She had been unconscious before her head hit the first pillow she saw.

Now, however, she was very much awake. And very happy to be out of Orlais. She finally wore regular clothing and her hair was done the way she wanted. It felt better than good. She was ready to investigate Skyhold. And more than anything she wanted to find Leliana.

"You slept in my bed." An angry voice came out of nowhere.

Ali turned around and found a finger pointed in her face. It was attached to a very angry woman.

"You slept in my bed! I went out and when I came back, you were sleeping in my bed! I tried to wake you up but you wouldn't wake up and swatted at me." The woman looked outraged and Ali took a step backwards, not liking the overt confrontation.

"I'm… so…. so… sorry," she said, "I was just looking for a bed and…"

"...and how well did that work out for you?"

"Is there are problem here?" The woman and Ali looked up.

"Inquisitor!" The woman shrieked and quickly moved away, "no, no, nothing at all."

Trevelyan looked at Ali until the latter shook her head.

"I was coming to look for you."

"For me?" Ali asked, she couldn't imagine why the Inquisitior wanted something to do with her. They ignored the other woman and left the tent.

"I should be honest," the Inquisitor said with a chuckle, "I wasn't looking for you at all, I just saw you in an argument and wanted to rescue you. I saw how tired you were last night, and I figured no one had told you that all beds are taken."

Ali chuckled and shook her head.

"Thank you," she said, she smiled at Trevelyan and then looked up at the big blue sky. "This place is amazing."

"Yeah," Trevelyan said, "it is. Better than the old place anyway." They looked at the sky for a little bit.

"Well, I should go," Trevelyan said after a little bit, "staring into the sky is nice but I can practically feel Josephine needing me for something."

"Good luck with the demons and rifts and everything," Ali said, unsure what it was that the Inquisitor really did, "oh! And how do I find somewhere to sleep?"

"Ask the requisitions officer," Trevelyan replied, "you can find him in the building close to where Cassandra practices, ask her if you're unsure. You know who seeker Pentaghast is?"

"Yes, I do," Ali said, "thanks!"

Once Trevelyan took her leave, Ali had one goal and that was to find Leliana. She knew that she should have gone to the requisition officer but she thought she could do that later. She should also been concerned with applying for a task or job but at the moment she didn't care about that at all. She just wanted to find Leliana.

She made her way into what seemed to be the main building and glanced through the big doors. It felt like such a grand room, Ali suddenly felt small and unimportant. What gave her the right to walk into the inner sanctum of the Inquisition? Ali knew that she was a nobody, but usually she was okay with it.

"Are you looking for someone?" Ali looked at the elf on her right, she didn't recognize him.

"I'm looking for Sister Nightingale," she said in a small voice, "do you know where she is?"

"I think you'll find her in the rockery," the elf replied, "go through that door and up the stairs, then to the left, up another set of stairs."

Ali nodded thanks and then forced herself into the room. It felt like everyone was looking at her, like everyone could see that she didn't belong there. She ignored the looks from some women dressed in traditional Orlesian garb and then slipped through a door on the right. She went up the stairs, through another door, passed other people and bookshelves and then started ascend up the stairs. The closer she got, the more the air filled with cries of ravens and other birds. Ali knew she was getting close and her heart started beating faster. As much as she was excited to see Leliana, she had no idea what she would say or do. Would Leliana be happy to see her? Would she smile?

"There you are." Leliana's voice made her look up. "I was wondering if you were planning to come and see me."

_I wouldn't have been able to stay away even if you had told me to, _Ali thought to herself.

"You have any information for me?" Leliana continued when Ali still didn't answer. Ali retold some silly secrets and pieces of gossips she had heard around the palace. She didn't know which parts where valuable enough to tell a spymaster and felt her face get redder and redder as she kept talking. It felt like she was sharing mundane gossip when Leliana's time could be better spent.

"Great," Leliana said with a smile when Ali turned quiet, "we can definitely use this." She leaned over her desk and started making notes.

"Really?" Ali asked with a raised eyebrow. She leaned forward and tried to glance at what Leliana was writing. Sadly, her own reading skill wasn't good enough to make out words from upside down.

"Oh it might seem like silly gossip, I know," Leliana said, "but some of these secrets could start a war. Small wars but wars nontheless." She glanced up at her, a spark existing in her grey eyes that Ali hadn't see before. "You did well, Magpie."

"You know my name now," Ali said, "you don't need to call me magpie anymore."

"Maybe not," Leliana agreed, "but I prefer Magpie."

"And you're a nightingale." Ali said.

"That I am," Leliana said, then she looked down at the papers again.

Ali stood still and observed her for a little bit. It was such a relief to be near her again, to just look at her, to know that she was alive.

"Leliana?" She asked after a little while. She waited until those grey eyes were fixed on her. "What does Nightingale of the Imperial Court mean? Surely, you've never been part of the Imperial court?"

"They're just pretty words, Magpie," Leliana said in a honeyed voice, "pretty words made to impress and perhaps conquer."

"I should go," Ali said, "I need to see the requisitions officer."

"Tell him you'll be helping me take care of the birds," Leliana said, "he'll give you a good place to sleep."

_Nowhere could ever be as good as your arms, _Ali thought. She started turning to head back to go down the stairs when Leliana spoke again.

"It's good to have you back."

Ali smiled to herself. Then she continued down the stairs.


	16. The first week at Skyhold

**Sorry in advance for any typos.**

**The first week at Skyhold**

"Where do you sleep?" It was a few days later and Ali had just finished cleaning the bird cages. Usually she left right away, but for once Leliana didn't seem so busy and Ali wanted to talk for a bit.

"Why do you ask?"

"Well," Ali said, "Cullen and Josephine both have rooms, Cassandra sleeps above the smithy close to where she trains. But there are no beds or sleeping beds close to where you work."

"That doesn't really answer my question," Leliana said, "why must you know where I sleep?"

Ali felt her cheeks heat up and she picked at the hem of her shirt.

"I don't have to know at all," she said eventually, "I'm just curious." She took a breath and grabbed some courage, "I'd like to know that you're getting enough rest, that's all."

"I promise there is no reason to worry," Leliana said with laughter in her voice, "I get enough sleep." She didn't say where but Ali was satisfied. She jumped off the crate she was sitting on and went over to the obvious shrine that Leliana must have set up since arriving at Skyhold. It was grand in gold and red with statues of Andraste and some other figures that Ali didn't recognize. There was a fresh set of incence burning in the incence holder, causing the whole rockery to smell like the insides of a chantry. Strangely it soothed both the birds and Ali.

"I like the incence," Ali said, wanting to keep Leliana's attention for a little while.

"Me too." Leliana came and stood behind her. "It reminds me of home."

Ali turned around and looked at her.

"You used to live in a chantry?" She knew the question was stupid but she didn't know any other place that smelled like that. Leliana chuckled.

"You never wonder why they call me 'Sister Leliana'?" Leliana waited until Ali suddenly realised.

"You're a chantry sister!" She exclaimed, "but… a sister… we… we… what we did. It was…" Leliana's gaze softened.

"Don't worry," she said, "I didn't take those kind of vows. But even if I had, that wouldn't have been your concern. It would have been between me and the Maker."

"Okay." Ali didn't know what else to say, she felt stupid that she hadn't realised.

"Do you have to be a sister to work for the divine?"

Leliana sighed and sat down on the bench next to the shrine. Ali waited a heartbeat and then she sat down next to her.

"No," Leliana said once they were both seated, "you don't. Cassandra isn't one. And even if I have earned the right to the title _sister _I haven't been one for many years."

"What have you been doing?"'

Leliana raised an eyebrow.

"Between being a sister and helping the Divine, what did you do? Why did you stop being a sister?"

Ali expected Leliana to brush her off or refuse to answer the question, but instead something nostalgic passed over her eyes.

"Bits here and there," she said, "defeated an archdemon with the hero of Ferelden."

"I remember the blight," Ali said, "we had so many refuges in Kirkwall. Most of them couldn't afford to come and visit us, some did."

"I visited Kirkwall," Leliana said. Ali leaned forward and turned her head to look at her better. "It was before the destruction of the chantry."

"We must have been there in the same time," Ali said, almost smiling at the thought. She tried to wreck her brain but couldn't remember leaving the Blooming rose much. There was no way their paths could have crossed. The thought of Leliana and herself being in the same town, in the same part of town, made her smile.

"I hated Kirkwall," she said after they had sat in silence for a little while. "I'm really glad I left."

"It was very brave of you," Leliana agreed.

"You think I'm brave?"

"Of course I do," Leliana said, her tone of voice signalling that she thought it was silly that Ali would have thought otherwise. "You've ran from Kirkwall, left the only life you have ever known. That takes courage and strength. You got to Haven while the sky was bleeding. And after all of that, you still agreed to be my spy in Orlais."

"I didn't feel brave when I did any of that," Ali said in a small voice. Leliana's eyes were fixed on her face and it was very disconcerning.

"Do you have to be very religious to be a sister?" She shook her head, "no, no, never mind. Of course you have to be. But can you be a hand of the Divine without being religious? No, that's also not right. Are you very religious?"

"You're asking me if I'm very religious?"

"On a scale from one to ten?" Ali smile widely to show that she was joking. Luckily Leliana made a small chuckle.

"I'm devoted to the Maker," she said and shrugged, "and I'm devoted to the Divine that served him. That answers your question, yes?"

"Yes," Ali agreed but it didn't. She didn't understand how anyone could be religious, despite everything that had happened. If the Maker existed, he was a monster to let bad things happen. There was no other way she could see it.

"Are you curious about Andraste and the Maker?" Leliana asked after a little while, "or just about my views specifically."

"Your views specifically," Ali admitted, "I don't care much for Andraste. I didn't hear much about her until I was rather old, and my mum believed in the Elven gods."

"Well, if you want my views," Leliana said. She took a deep breath, then she started talking, "I believe in the Maker, but I don't always agree with the chantry. I think the Maker is more merciful than they describe and that he has not left us. I believe he talks to us directly if we're just silent long enough to hear Him. I also believe that… belief in itself is a virtue. And sometimes, we have to force ourselves to believe even when we doubt, even when things get rough."

"Even when the Divine dies?" Ali clasped her hand over her mouth. Leliana looked surprise for a moment and when she talked again, her voice was bitter.

"Even when the Divine dies." Her voice sounded strangled and Ali didn't need to look at her face to see that she was sad.

"She must have meant a lot to you," Ali said carefully.

"In more ways than one," Leliana said, "some days I still can't believe she's dead."

"I'm sorry," Ali said, "I can't imagine how you feel. I've never really lost anyone." Leliana got up.

"Life is what it is," she said, "I should get back to work, I'm leaving for Valence tonight. You'll be in charge of the bird care by yourself while I'm gone."

"I'll manage," Ali reassured her, "how long will you be gone?"

"I'm not sure," Leliana said, "I hope not long, but you never know."

Ali wanted to ask her why she was going, but it wasn't her place. Instead she excused herself and left.


	17. All hell breaks loose

**All hell breaks loose **

Ali noticed that something was wrong the moment she saw Leliana's profile by the door. The usually proud shoulders looked slumped as she was leaning against the open doorway, looking out over Skyhold's courtyard below. Ali hadn't known she was back, she had been gone for four days. The Inquisitor had been back after two, but Leliana had been gone for longer. Ali hadn't asked, but after hearing a hushed conversation between Josephine and Trevelyan, it was clear that something bad had happened. And Leliana had fled.

But apparently she was back now. Ali wanted to run and throw her arms around her, say her name, tell her how happy she was that she was back. It was clear that something was wrong and Ali understood that she needed to be careful. She went slowly towards the sad figure, until she was standing next to her. She didn't look at Leliana, instead she gazed over the horizon. When Leliana was ready, she would speak.

"What am I to you?" Leliana said after a little while. Ali glanced at her, but Leliana kept her gaze firm somewhere far away. Her voice was void of emotion, Leliana hadn't sounded like that since just after the Conclave.

Ali realised she hadn't said anything and hurried to think of something. She didn't want to say just anything, she wanted to say the right thing. Not necessarily what Leliana wanted to hear, but what she needed to hear.

"You are Leliana," she said, "to me you're not a sister, or a nightingale, or even a spymaster. I don't know who the Divine was, or what's going on. I don't know about Corypheus, or the Maker, or rifts. I don't understand the messages you attach to the legs of the birds, I don't even care about them."

"What do you care about?"

Ali moved slowly, giving Leliana every chance to pull away. She took hold of a gloved hand, took the glove off and then pressed the bare hand towards her chest, she knew that Leliana could feel the beating of her heart.

"This is what you are to me," she whispered, beyond caring if it was appropriate or not. Leliana's hand twitched on top of her tunic and then pulled it out of Ali's grip. Her eyes were filled with anguish and Ali was itching to ask what had happened in Valence.

"I have a meeting with the Inquisitor," Leliana said, her voice a bit thick, "excuse me." She turned around and started walking towards the stairs.

_The meeting must have been a long one_, Ali thought as the sun started to set. She had fed the birds, cleaned all the cages and then just stood on the balcony looking at the busy people below. She liked it up here, in the rockery. It wasn't just that it was Leliana's space, there was something very comforting about the chatter from the birds, the smell of incence and the way you could see everything from up there. It was the logical place for a rockery, but Ali couldn't help but wonder if Leliana had chosen it for other benefits too. There was something so comforting about being so high up, it felt safe. And the view was absolutely beautiful.

She spotted Cassandra walking back to her training spot from the main building, that meant that the meeting must have ended. There were steps behind her and she turned around.

"You are still here." Leliana looked tired.

"I have been waiting for you," Ali said. Something glimmered in Leliana's eyes and Ali couldn't do anything except speak from her heart. "I will always be here. For you." Leliana closed her eyes, looking like she was in pain. Ali reached for her hand but before she could reach Leliana, the latter opened her eyes again. The look in Leliana's eyes caused Ali to stop. There was pain in there, weariness, age and sadness. Also fire. Ali didn't know Leliana, she didn't know what Leliana was capable of or what she had done before they met. Leliana was scary in a lot of ways, but never before had she made Ali fear for her safety the way she did now.

"Leliana?" She whimpered. She took a step backwards, intimidated by the dangerous look in Leliana's eyes that she couldn't understand.

"You want to see where I sleep?" Ali nodded, her mouth dry. Leliana's voice sounded completely normal, but there was still fire in her eyes and Ali knew that things were far from normal. "I usually sleep up here," Leliana continued, "but if I'm in need of privacy, I go somewhere else." She took a hold of Ali's hand and led her down the stairs.

It was late in the day and there weren't that many people out, but Ali could still feel several curious eyes looking at her as they went by. She kept her head down and followed Leliana. They went through a door, up a few steps, past a curious looking Vivienne, through another set of doors and then out on a balcony. This led them to a run down bed chamber.

She had barely closed the door behind them when Ali was pushed against it, the movement forcing her head to bang against the wood. Leliana didn't let her think or process what was happening before attacking her mouth with a hunger that she'd never shown before. She nipped at Ali's lower lips and lapped at her mouth with her tongue until Ali was irrevocably out of breath. Leliana was slightly taller, and with both hands next to Ali's shoulders, Ali was effectively trapped, but she didn't mind.

As soon as she had gathered her senses a bit, she wrapped her arms around Leliana's neck and stood on tip toe so their mouths could reach easier. Their kisses were sloppy and hurried, almost desperate but for some reason it was perfect. Ali tried at first to get them to slow down, to go easier on each other. To not have it feel like they were fighting. But Leliana was having none of that. She grabbed both of Ali's wrist in one hand and put them over her head, she shook her free hand so the large glove fell off, then she hiked up Ali's tunic.

Ali knew what was coming next even though she could hardly believe it. When Leliana's cold fingers dove into her breeches and made contact with her center, her legs almost gave out. Leliana hadn't touched her before this, and Ali was ashamed to admit that the skillful hands that were now moving against her and suddenly dipped inside her, was going to make her come faster than she was proud of. She could already feel the trembling in her lower belly. She tried to talk, tried to tell Leliana to slow down but she couldn't get a word out. When Leliana's thumb moved highed and placed itself on the stiff point above her entrance, Ali's back arched and she came with a muffled scream against Leliana's neck. It was quick and intense, bordering on painful.

Ali sacked against Leliana's body, but the nightingale in front of her didn't let her rest for one moment. With a hold on Ali's arm she pulled her from the door and pushed her down on the bed. She pulled off Ali's clothes and then dove between her legs. Ali had barely recovered but with the first swipe of Leliana's tongue she felt herself readying again. She grabbed the sheet underneath her so that she wouldn't grab Leliana's hair and unintentionally pull too hard. Whatever Leliana was doing, it felt divine. She covered Ali's hot flesh in broad, wet licks.

"Leliana," Ali whimpered, her hips thrusts up and she rubbed herself against Leliana's chin, but two hands shot out and held her down. She writhed against the grip as Leliana moved lower and pressed her tongue inside. It was too much and Ali came, arching her back and moaning Leliana's name.

Leliana didn't let her rest now either, she moved up Ali's body and pressed a sloppy kiss to Ali's cheek.

"Let me," Ali said weakly, "let me…" she reached for Leliana's waist but Leliana moved her hands away.

"I know what I want," she said, she sat up and quickly removed her clothes. Then she straddled Ali's waist and then scooted forward until her legs were on either side of Ali's head. Ali looked up at her with a weak look in her eyes, she knew what Leliana wanted, but she was honestly not sure if she had enough energy. Two orgasms had wiped her out completely and she mainly wanted to cuddle. But as Leliana lowered herself to Ali's mouth and Leliana's unique scent reached her nose, she reached up and pulled her down more firmly. Leliana was so wet and tasted so good, it didn't matter how tired Ali was. Leliana was so beautiful, moving above her, her eyes closed and her mouth slightly open, she smelled and tasted so good. She wrapped her mouth around Leliana's stiff clit and tried sucking at it as well as she could.

"Just… like… that…" Leliana moaned above her, her accent thicked than usual. Ali was addicted to this moment and when Leliana's hips ground into her mouth and the small muscle in her mouth started trembling, Ali almost felt disappointed.

Despite her wishes, the moment couldn't continue forever. Leliana collapsed above her and didn't resist when Ali sat up and carefully helped her to lay down. She looked so sweet, her cheek looking so pale against the stark contrast of her red hair and the black of her eyelashes. Ali kissed her cheeks and held her close.

"Magpie," Leliana whimpered and wrapped Ali's black and white hair around her fist. The action caused something in Ali's chest to almost break, she wanted to save Leliana. She wanted to keep her there, let her rest at last. Take care of her. Protect her. Fight off anyone that wanted to hurt her. But Ali was a nobody, a nug catcher, a carer of birds, a former prostitute. She couldn't even protect the person who mattered the most. Leliana was sleeping in her arms, the lines of worry not gone from her face even now. Ali held her firmely, closed her eyes and joined Leliana in asleep.


	18. The world is upside down

**The world is upside down **

When Ali woke up, Leliana wasn't there. But she had barely risen her head off of the pillow when the door swung open and the ever elusive spy master entered.

"Where were you?" Ali asked. Leliana shook her head and leaned down and gave her a quick kiss. Then she placed a bundle on the bed.

"Duties are boring," she said, "don't want to talk about it. Here, focus on breakfast instead."

Ali opened the bundle to uncover a large chunk of bread covered with butter and some ham. It was a meal fit for a queen and when Ali started eating she noticed that she was ravenous. Leliana watched her eat but didn't join in. When Ali lifted her finger to lick off the remaining butter, Leliana grabbed a hold of her wrist and brought Ali's finger to her own mouth instead. Her tongue folded around Ali's digit making her close her eyes and whimper a little.

"I brought some wine as well," Leliana said when she had released Ali's finger, reached behind her and held out a goblet for Ali to take.

"It's morning," Ali tried to protest but was quickly silenced by a finger to her lips.

"Who cares?" Leliana said, "I don't have any more meetings for today, do you?" Without waiting for Ali to answer, Leliana brough the goblet to her own lips and took a big sip. Then when she again held it over to Ali who this time took it and finished it in one go. She had a feeling that she would need it for whatever it was that Leliana was planning.

When Ali had finished drinking, Leliana took the goblet and threw it on the floor. Then she dived in. Their lips met, their tongues met, Ali's naked skin met Leliana's armor and everything else was forgotten.

The next days were a blur. Leliana hardly let Ali rest, wanting her again and again and again. Ali was reduced to a throbbing, sore mess. Sometimes when they started again, it hurt but Leliana was insistent and pretty soon she had Ali craving and begging for her touch again. Sometimes they left, their duties didn't stop, but they always came back to that room. To fall in each other's arms. The world stopped in that room. TIme didn't exist. All that existed was skin on skin and Leliana's lips on Ali's pulse points. Ali had never had so much sex in her life, despite her previous profession and she had never been with a person like Leliana. Leliana knew things that Ali couldn't even name and when they were there together, the spymaster played her like a lute.

It would probably have continued for a very long time if Ali hadn't forgot herself in the height of passion. Leliana's fingers had been buried to the hilt, working her way towards Ali's seventh climax that day when Ali did the only thing she could do. The words were breathless and desperate but well-meant and very heartfelt.

"I love you, Leli."

Ali knew it had been a mistake right away, Leliana went stiff on top of her. Then she removed her fingers, wiped them on the bedspread and then left without a word. Ali laid gasping on the bed, dread filling her. She knew that it had been a mistake, she knew she shouldn't have said it. But it had been the truth, it had been the truth for a long time. It had been the truth for months. And with her body and soul so bare, Ali hadn't had a choice.

When her breath was finally under control, Ali got up. Got a cloth and washed herself. As she wiped in between her thighs, the first tears dropped. She fell to her knees and lifted her hands to cradle her face as hard sobs wrecked through her body.

After a few minutes, she wiped the tears from her face. She got up and got dressed. Then she left the room that had been her sanctuary for a week. She had only one thing to do.

She found Leliana bent over her papers like usual. She didn't even look up when Ali entered the rockery.

"Leliana," Ali said.

"Yes," Leliana replied but didn't look up.

"Why do you hate me?" Ali asked, letting all the hurt show in her voice. She didn't care that Leliana's agents were up in the rockery too. She didn't care about anything anymore.

"I don't care enough about you to hate you," Leliana said, still not looking up. Her words slashed Ali's heart into shreds and she couldn't help how a sob left her.

"You're not strong, are you?" Ali cried but did her best to keep her voice low. "You are weak. Weaker than most. And I hate you." Right then, Ali did hate her. She hated her with a burning passion. She let her tears fall freely.

"All you wanted was for me to be your personal concubine," she said, "but you forgot that I'm human too." Leliana looked up then, but her eyes were cold, unfeeling. Grey, not blue. And cold as ice. Ali couldn't bear to look at her anymore. She turned around and fled from the rockery.


	19. Aftermath

**Aftermath**

It was a few hours later and Ali was laying inside her tent. She didn't know what she was doing anymore. Going up to the rockery to feed the birds felt like an impossible task and she bribed her tentmate to go and check on them instead. She didn't want to do anything anymore, she laid on her bedroll, following dust particals in the light as the sun slowly set. She wished she could forget but everytime she moved she was reminded of how sore she was and the reason. It was as if Leliana had made herself a permanen part of Ali's body and now she would never be rid of her.

When the dew had settled and the air had significantly cooled, Ali made a decision and got up. She had to leave. Right now. She wasn't going to stay. It wasn't the first time she had run and she had always managed before. It didn't matter that demons rained from the sky. It still seemed safer out there than in here, at least for her heart. And whether the Inquisitor Trevelyan managed to close the rifts or not had nothing to do with Ali. She had no reason to stay

It was only when she went she went past the gates and started walking towards the moutains that she started feeling like it was a bad idea. She had nothing. No food, not even proper shoes or a good cloak. And now she was a planning to walk miles over snowy mountains to get somewhere. The view was spectacular from where she was but she also knew that in all likelihood, she was staring down at what would be her death. It didn't matter. Ali was heart broken. She started walking.

She didn't get far. As she stood on the edge of all that snow and was trying to force herself to take that final jump into the snow, someone spoke up behind her.

"I'm sure someone would borrow you a horse if you're so adamant on leaving." Ali turned around and looked at Leliana. She hadn't even heard her come up behind her.

When Ali replied nothing, Leliana came to stand next to her.

"I don't mean to tell you what to do," she continued, "it'd just be a pity for you to die now."

"Why now?" Ali said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You've survived a lot," Leliana said, "that's all I meant."

They said nothing for a little while. It was getting darker by the minute as the sun was setting quickly and a cold wind made snow swirl around them. Ali shivered.

"I'm sorry," Leliana said, "but don't do this. You can leave, but leave with a party. Inquisitor and the others are leaving for the Lost Oasis in the morning, at least let them escort you past all the snow and ice."

Ali agreed and they started heading back towards Skyhold's protecting walls. It was really cold now and Ali felt goosebumps cover her body under her clothes. She doubted the tent was going to be warm enough.

Before they went through the doors, Leliana stopped and made Ali stop with a hold to her arm.

"I'm sorry," she said and had the decency to look ashamed, "you were right. I used you. I didn't treat you like a human being and for that I'm sorry."

"I don't accept your apology," Ali said.

"That's fine," Leliana replied, "you don't need to. I just neded to say it. And it won't happen again."

Ali sighed. She didn't want to look at Leliana. Her hood was down and she looked as vulnerable as Ali had ever seen her.

"It's because I said I loved you," Ali said, "otherwise we would have continued. Why is that? What's wrong with you?" She lifted her gaze and forced their eyes to connect. Leliana didn't hold it and looked to the side instead.

"Because that's when I realised that what I was doing was wrong," she replied, "I didn't mean to make you mine. And that's what I was doing."

"I've been yours for since before Halamshiral," Ali said, "you hardly needed to make an effort." Leliana laughed sadly.

"Nevertheless, I didn't mean to." Leliana looked at her then with tenderness in her eyes, it made Ali's heart beat faster even though she knew it probably meant nothing.

"You made me forget everything for a moment," Leliana said, "you made it stop hurting. You made me remember things I had forgotten. Things that I shouldn't have forgotten."

"That wasn't my job," Ali said, "none of that was my job."

"I know," Leliana said, "and from now on, I'll leave you alone." She started going back and Ali followed her.

"I don't want you to leave me alone," Ali whispered at Leliana's back, "I never wanted that." Leliana hesitated her step a little bit and Ali almost feared that she'd heard her, but she didn't turn around. They went inside Skyhold together.

Ali didn't leave Skyhold with a party the next day. Not the day after that either. Or the day after that. Even if it wasn't Leliana who kept her there, Skyhold was. There were always things happening, always someone to exchange gossip with. When Ali did things, and that included continued caring for the birds, she knew that she served something bigger than her. Even if it just made a small difference, it did make a difference. And Ali didn't want to stop.

But she did stop seeing Leliana. They glanced at each other in the rockery from time to time and of course they were polite. They did no longer spend any time together though. And that was for the best. Ali's heart felt mangled, raw and stepped on. She knew she had to stay away. Especially after hearing Leliana and Trevelyan discussing the hero of Ferelden and making it clear that there were more than tender feelings between Ali's object of affection and the warden.

Ali started spending a lot of time at the Tavern instead. She listened to the minstrel sing, sometimes she joined in. She sometimes talked with Sera or the other people who frequented the bar. She would have loved to talk to other people who fought at the Inquisitor's side but Sera was the only one she dared to approach. Later Varric turned out to be okay too, and him and Ali would talk about Kirkwall and reminisce over the fallen city.

Little by little, she built herself up again. It was hard but worth it. She told herself that pain was normal and that it would pass. All she needed was time. Time. And a lot of drinks.


End file.
